For one lone stretch of time I lived with the intensity displayed by those chronic numbers players who see clues to their fortune in the most minute and insignificant phenomena: in clouds, in dreams, comic strips. Now I'm in a foot race with myself looking back at my old self that flew without wings and plunged from great heights.

you'll find that life's worth living, if you just smile.

I find myself overcompensating, like for the littlest things. Probably because I'm too passive. So I feel myself trying to make up for what i haven't said/done. Like when I'm driving, I apparently go too fast but that's only because I feel I need to go as fast as everyone else. That's just an example, a simple example, but it's too true.

"J'ai besoin de vous plus que tout, mais je veux autant de plus."

Happy Mardi Gras.

Busted Missions For Shopping.

Got Shantal, then Americana :D

Gilly Hicks. Ok this store called Gilly Hicks is like the Abercrombie lingerie store. Unmentionables and shit. The artwork was all half naked men, rather bold if you ask me.

& then fcking queer books in the dressing rooms. Flowers & like men bathing. Came across this disturbing shit. I don't know how pleasing this is to look at while changing into bras & panties. Half naked men flipping each other in a pool -_-

Free Pancakes. Had 7, mhm seven whole ones.

Shantal & Marci give me a deafening headache.

This doesnt even sum up the day, just bits and pieces.

Self-Professed, Profound.

Nobody's home, looking so vacant.

Some Unholy War.

I wrote something like this before, ha.

Track's Back

That shit rhymed, hm. I'm rather excited because this means an actual workout. Volleyball is arms, back & some shin work. Basketball is calves and I guess some arm work, too. Now track works everything, that is, if I choose to work on everything. Arms, the muscles in my shoulders, core & back, & legs. Legs entails ass, thighs, knees, shin & calves. I definitely won't be getting all buff and cut, ha never. But I'm excited to get back into shape. Get my track body back (;

I don't know how late I am.

Blu- Her Favorite Colo(u)r.

DOWNLOAD

Shit, I'm in love w/ it (;

My Affirmations.

I am currently in the midst of writing my affirmations, something my grandfather asked me to. "You need to know what you think about yourself." He wants me to write a list of 50 things starting w/ 'I am', each saying something positive about myself. 50 things that I guess affirm my state of being. I actually began w/ at least 15 things that were no where near positive, but things that I'm ok with. I am ok w/ being a procrastinator, and I am ok w/ never facing anything.

I never face the present, I just hope the future will come as quick as possible. Let me be psychic for 3 minutes, let me tell myself for 3 minutes that I still want the future. (NOTE: This is not some suicidal rendition). I've indulged myself in actually finding myself, making sense of why I accept everything. Earnestly did I beseech, but to no avail. Don't get me wrong, I'm not another girl searching for herself. I just don't understand myself really.

I want to grow up already. Not just grow up, but I want to grow up and be all I can already. I want to make shit be true. I want for 3 minutes to see what my life can be. Shit I want to go back in time and live. Live my life from day one, but without knowing everything I know now. I want to be blindsighted to ignorance that I've already encountered. Just to see if I'd actually do it all the same. That's kind of redundant though, if I'm blindsighted i probably would do everything the same. Hmm nevermind that thought. What I think I actually meant was, I want to live again. Go back to living and not thinking. I used to think about one thing once, and get over it. I have now spent much time on thinking and not actually doing.

Change is never good. When you swear up & down everything's perfect, change is not good. I've been here before, back when I didn't know right from wrong. Everything now is based on what i believe to be right and wrong. As its based w/ simplicity, I don't even follow it. There's definitely a problem when you don't follow what you believe.

Upper Playground.

Feel free to press play.

My highway to distraction begins with an exit off the perpetrating railway with a winding left to the forum of my thoughts. Attempting to rid myself of all the nostalgic residue, the build up of commentary left by the common pedestrian: those walking by, stopping & staring. Made that stop at the corner ice cream parlor, you know, just a little something to clear up the monotony. Found a common ground on the corner of My Demise & My Hidden Despise

Copy Cat.

I saw this,

& i tried it.

My camera's a lot bigger, and im sure a lot heavier.

SICK SHIT.

LABgirlsBasketball.

Second Round Playoffs Tomorrow (:

goodnight.

I Used To Dream In Black & White.

Now I Dream Under The Big Lights,

...In Color

I'm good at saying what I don't want to say. I'm good at doing what I don't feel. I'm good at making it seem as its not. I'm good at fooling everyone, including myself. I'm good at killing time.
I'm good at hearing/ seeing what I want. I'm good w/ my feelings. I'm too good at understanding. I'm good at pretending. I'm good at seeming. I'm good at telling. I'm good at accepting. I'm good at not changing. I'm good at putting in motion. I'm good at imaging. I'm good at wanting. I'm good at tolerating. I'm good at not answering questions. I'm good at saying I can. I'm good at coming to conclusions...

Shit, I'm good.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE CREOLE IF.....

~you have relatives that are brown and white as snow

~at least someone in your family speaks creole

~you know most of the other creoles in your city

~most of your creole friends are related to you somewhere down the line and you don't know that until years later

~your mom is always on the lookout for a creole boy/girl for you

~all signs point to france

~you know the difference between light-skinned black and creole

~at least some of your family has moved to California

~when you say that you have "Indian" in you, you either have hard copy proof or the high cheek bones

~all the food that you cook is creole no matter if it's lasagna or chicken

~you can check a person's "creoleness" by looking at their last name

~before dating someone, you need to make sure that you are not related

~you have been mistaken for being fully white or spanish

~you know what a hucklebuck is

Rain.

It rained w/ no mercy.

Just to get her eyebrows done "/

"The quality of mercy is not strained;

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed-

It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes."

I Want One Of These.

And These

Or These.

I've waited patiently.

Funny thing, your brain,

how it always functions on one

level or another. How, even stuck in

some sort of subconcious limbo, it works

your lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart,

in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing it

to feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it’s the

same for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing

as brain death?

-CRANK

Back to the old computer & it works too damn slow.

My brother turnd 7(:

He got his BARACK OBAMA shirt.

Lyles/ Dyson/ Fordham Family

He has got to be the cutest boy ever.

Some of my favorite shots.

MONET MCNALLLLLLY !

She wouldnt take a picture w/ me.

Then she droppd me.

My Favorite Freshman.

Didnt rotate these.

This made me too happy, havent had PEACH ICED TEA since summer.

Fake Now N Latrs

MY BIRTHDAY.

I'd have to say, he made my day/ night.

My Boys.