Do It To Me - Usher


(this won't play the full version "/)

"Watchin’ you work the stick in the ride , the motion how you move from 3rd to 5
Can't imagine what it’s gon’ be once we get inside
And you put that ooh wee on me and you want me the same way, ooh I can’t wait
I’m tired of thinkin’ about it, speakin’ about it, baby it’s time to be about it, turn off the lights, take off your
clothes, jump in the bed, and let it flow
Squeeze and holdin’ bitin’ scratchin’ spankin’ screamin’ pullin’ my hair when you need me everything goes…baby when you…."





It's apparent Usher has been singing about the nasty since forever. My goodness ha. Just found my Confessions CD, :D.

Abnormalities.

"Women rule the world, men are just here for the company...Ask your wife"

Best thing I've heard all day. Argued w/ three freshmen boys yesterday. Not too productive for their chosen topic was: "Men do all the work." They weren't even initially talking about manual labor, they were speaking on sex and birth. They felt the need to ask my opinion. Bottom line I won. Women do not do all the work, I'd be damned if it was that way, but men also do not do all the work. In the means of birth and such, women do all the work. That's probably the biggest turn off for me not wanting children, having to do a lot of work ha. In a sense this conversation should never have arose. These boys will probably never get married, and if they do it will be when pigs are flying, literally. Uh, speaking of pigs, Swine Flu ? Ew. Danny told me he has it but then told me was a Power Ranger. That statement made his Swine Flu unbelievable. Whatever, that killer killer disease is scary. People dying and such. Mexico & California. Who woulda thunk it, eh ? -_-

Randomly dealing with oxymorons daily now. As this school year comes to an end true colors are showing. More like glowing. The shyest people I know, have the most to say. The big mouths, don't know how to speak. The smartest people I know, have the least to teach. Those who don't know, are the quickest to preach. The most talented people I know, have the least to do. Those willing to learn, can't find the help.


"Freddy Krueger is the essence of every man."
I laughed, I don't agree lol.

If every man played basketball like Dwayne Wade, the world would be a better place. I don't care anyone says, he's my favorite to watch. Hawks & Heat are tied, 2-2, game 4 tomorrow night (:
Mm and the Hornets were brutally beaten last night by the Nuggets in game 4, 121-63. No mercy was shown. Nuggest lead 3-1 as the Hornets were embarrassed at home.
I won't begin with the Lakers. Trevor Ariza, Kobe Bryant, and Derek Fisher.
Blah blah blah, PLAYOFFS.

Mm I'm writing an essay. I'd better get back to that.

Speak Your Mind Fridays; created and ran by Schrody & Reesa.

I used to do this daily on this here blogspot. It's really been a minute. I should be resting and getting ready & such, but I can't even focus on that. I'm going to attempt to focus on this ? Mm I don't want to talk about life, well my life that is, like that blog where I talk about what I've done in the past few days. Quite frankly, I'm barely interested in the things I've been doing. I can begin to explain how I've been feeling about things lately. That's rather mundane, too. Well no, I've been feeling so much better about things. A lot better at least. I'm not even speaking about things in general. I'm talking about my relationships, the small ones and the one I'm invested in. To think that one year ago, around this time, I had the same feeling as I have right now is indescribable. My claim to fame has been, the one who doesn't put up with it, whatever it may be. But we all take that persona huh ? Put up that wall ?...the one that gets knocked down for certain situations. Well my wall has been down. Just recently it was reconstructed.

Reconstruction by one definition is to reassemble mentally. Well put there, Webster. A while ago in my common growth, a wall was simultaneously built. The Great Wall of Ryah. Organized in a fashion that included thought and reasoning. Each stone placed over a feeling that was supposed to never be revealed. Strength that could withstand the unholiest war. Almost stubborn enough to endure love. Not the love we are born with, the one that grows for another person. (I have a habit of putting my all into every situation and though I already know it to be fact, I could never get with loving someone wholeheartedly, and not getting that shit back). This kinda love grew through cracks I thought were mended. I won't even drag this on, my wall crumbled with no defense. I had no more defense, I didn't even want to fight what I felt. Each and every piece was on the ground but my heart, I swear, was as complete as I wanted it to be. It never went back up and I looked forward to every day with him.

Had them days you just can't put into words. Wrote our names in the sand, just not too close to the water, because we just knew that what we had wouldn't wash away. Nothing was traded, nothing was altered, and opposites weren't attracted. We built our own wall that wasn't symbolically there, it was literally there to withstand our troubles as a whole. I wanted to have a love that was indescribable, and it was. I swore our four month-iversary was like our 50th anniversary, for I had never been in a reeeal relationship that long. But that 50th anniversary old folks have where they're still madly in love, is how I felt. Nothing's perfect but shit we were close to it.

Today we are just the same, but like I said my wall was recently reassembled. What I didn't tell you is that this barrier is currently in shambles and the blueprints for a new one won't even be presented. Trials and tribulations in my case lead me to build a new wall, for myself. Misunderstandings and misconceptions caused most of the affliction. But I was winning with my newly built barricade. Well I thought I was winning. All is never ever ever fair in war. The war that I thought I needed to fight daily. Definitely wasn't necessary. I don't need to fight to feel what I do.

When I say recent I mean recent. Like within two weeks, I had a levee with feelings running over it, back up and running & then shot down. My heart feels too much on daily basis for him to begin to recondition a new love. Our wall is amended. Far as I'm concerned I have put way too much into this to be broken. I will not love anyone as I do him.

And with that said my Speak Your Mind Friday has been fulfilled (:

We all know that one song, sung by that one singer that has that one melody. The one that gets played over and over and over. In my house it's...

Fortunate - Maxwell

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes.."


I'm actually in love with song, just not when my mom sings it lol.

Happy Earth Day.

Gooogle for your asses (:

100 Degrees.

Sweltering. I'm on edge and I want to write a story. A story that would begin with 'Once upon a time there lived a girl, who got what she want....' And ends with she lived happily ever after. SHE, as in singular. I want this to be my story in which I learn to find happiness in simple things on my own. And so it is, I'll begin my story on the right foot with right people, and the right attitude. I won't be starting over, that takes too long. I just want a change. Although I never want change-cause it's too hard to cope-it's necessary right now.

even more so me.

Long day today. I can honestly say I'm happy it's over & thankful for the way it ended. Looking forward to what's to come, normality & such. I'll be back on here much more often. There's kinda no point of me having this if I'm not on it, huh ?

New Orleans.

merely highlights.

Leaving.

I leave in a little over 12 hours for NEW ORLEANS. I really won't lie, I'm terrified for this flight. I haven't been on a plane in 9 years and I really don't remember it. Mm last day of school before Spring Break, and the infamous Nerd Day. I participated. I got to see who I wanted before I leave and I'm really much more at ease because their presence. Mm but I needa go finish packing, probably start over what I already have. Louisiana in the morning (:

True eloquence consists of saying all that should be said, and that only.

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"Oh, superman you do too much."....lol & stuff.

I would like everyone to stand up straight, yes stand tall, and stop fcking jerking. You're not all jerks, you can possibly stand up straight and learn to waltz. Give yourself some stature.

I leave for New Orleans in FOUR DAYS. Too exciteed. I've never been and I get to see most of my long lost family.

Adios por ahora.

LMAO !

Maximum Strength, Sensitive.

From recent results on a personality test I took, I am satisfied with where I am. Through this test, my psychology teacher was able to figure out that I am in a committed relationship in which I am veeery stubborn and I have a small group of friends I normally choose to associate, although I express a want for social inclusion. A mouth full right ? Also in my stubborness I would not be good in a big workplace such as sales. I don't have patience to deal with customers or the employer. Mind you, these are words from my pych teacher on how I normally interact. Anyway he was able to tell I am in a relationship because I have a low want/ need for affection & attention, I already get it.

Most of what he determined is pretty dead on. I'm just happy I can be told I am satisfied with who I am (:

You know those moments you can't put into words ? I don't have those anymore. Well scratch that, rewind. I have those, only w/ a certain someone. I can't dwell in my mind anymore & go on miniature excursions w/ subtle dissertations at the end. I like need the stimuli & reassurance. Not only from my certain someone but from everything. I need it to just keep me occupied. No, this is not another symptom of my ADD, its what I actually feel.

I feel the world is going at 18,000,000 mph, spinning & spinning, but the gravitational pull is not enough for I'm whirling over continents. Continents like Antarctica, where its cold to keep a friend too far but the company's too frigid to stay close. Over Africa where I can't find comfort because I don't know where I come from. Through Europe where the people don't know me but judge because of where I'm from. Born & raised in North America, proud of my upbringing but continuously have been brought down.

"When he is the cause of your inspiration, when the world appears under a wonderful new light, when suddenly the meaning of your life is obvious..then you are in love."

14 month.

AIM Poppin -_-

After much drama & turmoil in the past three days, much drama I haven't really voiced, my text/ call abilities are null & void. Denied. I thought I was going to die until I quickly realized I still have internet. Its been Facebook Mobile & AIM and I've really been okay.

This drama has brought about the question of where I am going to live after this school year. Trying not to think about it too much, just waiting to see how it all pans out.

Currently I am in the race of being on my school's Associated Student Body (ASB). Running to be the Commissioner of Athletics & Awards. Writing speeches, putting up fliers next weeek Ha, vote for me.

I wonder what things used to be like. I can't remember, everythings muffled by what's happening now. Nothing now is what I can even begin to remember. I want the past & part of the future. I want the truth with enough said. Being in the dark is so lonely, although when the light shines, I don't like what I see. Letting my mind wander no longer fulfills my time off. It scares me to think of what could be happening and what I'm sure might be. I think back and this is just as the past was. I've always been in the dark, wondering. Only now when my mind wanders I can't take too much of it.

I love Google (:

Burned My Tongue,

& got my license.

I just can't make myself do what's right.

I've brought myself to the conclusion that I rather be anywhere but home. Actually if I could stay in my room, locked up in there, w/ my essentials I'd be just fine. If I were able to come and go as I please and still reside in my room w/ the things I need, I'd be just fine.

I'm not strong I only pretend to be. I hold my head high, chin up, and moving through the room. I am thee Arm Wrestle Champ of the world, well the Lightweight Arm Wrestle Champ. Never backing down from any challenge, you know, only if I know I'll win. Walking through this room with my chin up and with all the odds against me. I don't see it that way. All the confidence, zeal and strength. Took them out one by one without contemplating a single blow.

The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in the right.

Kia Asked.

In Front Of My House.

Walking To Kia's

El Torito :D

Taylor's ass ha.

How Raggedy Can A Bitch Be ?

Lol.

Conquers All
Love is that one emotion that makes enemies into friends and friends into enemies. So many legends surround this emotion, from the goddess Athena and Helen of Troy to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Love comes in so many different levels, that it doesn't appear to be the same emotion at all.

There are many components to love. First, in order to love another they must first learn to love themselves. A person has to love who they are mentally, physically and spiritually. Second, love consists of a spiritual connection between two people. It is willingness to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. But love is not eternal it will come to an end one way or another, but the aspect that separates true love from illusion, is the way love ends. "True love" is much too powerful to be destroyed by human imperfection; it may be only destroyed by a force equal to the power of love.

Diotima believed that "Love is wanting to possess the good forever." In other words love is the desire to be immortal and the only way that we are able to obtain immortality is through reproduction. Since the act of reproduction is a form of sexual love, then sexual love is in fact a vital party of "true love". Sexual love is not eternal. This lust will soon fade, but the part of love that is immortal.

Most people never realize the true potential or value of love, nor do they learn to practice the art of love. It is usually very poorly defined. People think they are in love, but can’t explain it. There is a great deal of confusion and cross-referencing of the terms love, romance, infatuation, affection, and tenderness. Love does not come and go. It is merely a state of feeling that overcomes romance infatuation and so on.

In the poem "A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns, there is many suggestions of love. Throughout the poem the speaker symbolizes his love for someone. He uses different metaphors to get his point across about how he feels about this particular person. However, what makes this poem differ from other common love poems is that it emphasizes how the author leaves but will always love the other person thus making love endless.

Of My Essays, Written Last Year.

Break It Down Like..

Fcking Jamie Foxx's voice. Hands down, my favorite thing I've watched in a minute.

Relax.

If they're speaking on the years I am experiencing right now, I'd beg to differ. High School & everything it brings. That's all I know right now & I'd have to say that I'm living it. At this point when I'm done with high school, I won't miss it. I won't miss too much of it at least. Literally 3months left of the 2008-2009 year, and I'm too grateful. Too ready for summertime, beach everyday, I promise.

pretty reflection.

goodday, ha greatday.
trackintheAM, goodnight.

Fire & Desire

3:40-Teena Marie, gives me chills ha.

& this is my truth.

I won't go into detail for I don't want to imply anything.

Although, I'd probably only be implying something about my character.

Hm, yea, I'm still not going into detail.

For one lone stretch of time I lived with the intensity displayed by those chronic numbers players who see clues to their fortune in the most minute and insignificant phenomena: in clouds, in dreams, comic strips. Now I'm in a foot race with myself looking back at my old self that flew without wings and plunged from great heights.

you'll find that life's worth living, if you just smile.

I find myself overcompensating, like for the littlest things. Probably because I'm too passive. So I feel myself trying to make up for what i haven't said/done. Like when I'm driving, I apparently go too fast but that's only because I feel I need to go as fast as everyone else. That's just an example, a simple example, but it's too true.

"J'ai besoin de vous plus que tout, mais je veux autant de plus."

Happy Mardi Gras.

Busted Missions For Shopping.

Got Shantal, then Americana :D

Gilly Hicks. Ok this store called Gilly Hicks is like the Abercrombie lingerie store. Unmentionables and shit. The artwork was all half naked men, rather bold if you ask me.

& then fcking queer books in the dressing rooms. Flowers & like men bathing. Came across this disturbing shit. I don't know how pleasing this is to look at while changing into bras & panties. Half naked men flipping each other in a pool -_-

Free Pancakes. Had 7, mhm seven whole ones.

Shantal & Marci give me a deafening headache.

This doesnt even sum up the day, just bits and pieces.

Self-Professed, Profound.

Nobody's home, looking so vacant.

Some Unholy War.

I wrote something like this before, ha.

Track's Back

That shit rhymed, hm. I'm rather excited because this means an actual workout. Volleyball is arms, back & some shin work. Basketball is calves and I guess some arm work, too. Now track works everything, that is, if I choose to work on everything. Arms, the muscles in my shoulders, core & back, & legs. Legs entails ass, thighs, knees, shin & calves. I definitely won't be getting all buff and cut, ha never. But I'm excited to get back into shape. Get my track body back (;

I don't know how late I am.

Blu- Her Favorite Colo(u)r.

DOWNLOAD

Shit, I'm in love w/ it (;

My Affirmations.

I am currently in the midst of writing my affirmations, something my grandfather asked me to. "You need to know what you think about yourself." He wants me to write a list of 50 things starting w/ 'I am', each saying something positive about myself. 50 things that I guess affirm my state of being. I actually began w/ at least 15 things that were no where near positive, but things that I'm ok with. I am ok w/ being a procrastinator, and I am ok w/ never facing anything.

I never face the present, I just hope the future will come as quick as possible. Let me be psychic for 3 minutes, let me tell myself for 3 minutes that I still want the future. (NOTE: This is not some suicidal rendition). I've indulged myself in actually finding myself, making sense of why I accept everything. Earnestly did I beseech, but to no avail. Don't get me wrong, I'm not another girl searching for herself. I just don't understand myself really.

I want to grow up already. Not just grow up, but I want to grow up and be all I can already. I want to make shit be true. I want for 3 minutes to see what my life can be. Shit I want to go back in time and live. Live my life from day one, but without knowing everything I know now. I want to be blindsighted to ignorance that I've already encountered. Just to see if I'd actually do it all the same. That's kind of redundant though, if I'm blindsighted i probably would do everything the same. Hmm nevermind that thought. What I think I actually meant was, I want to live again. Go back to living and not thinking. I used to think about one thing once, and get over it. I have now spent much time on thinking and not actually doing.

Change is never good. When you swear up & down everything's perfect, change is not good. I've been here before, back when I didn't know right from wrong. Everything now is based on what i believe to be right and wrong. As its based w/ simplicity, I don't even follow it. There's definitely a problem when you don't follow what you believe.

Upper Playground.

Feel free to press play.

My highway to distraction begins with an exit off the perpetrating railway with a winding left to the forum of my thoughts. Attempting to rid myself of all the nostalgic residue, the build up of commentary left by the common pedestrian: those walking by, stopping & staring. Made that stop at the corner ice cream parlor, you know, just a little something to clear up the monotony. Found a common ground on the corner of My Demise & My Hidden Despise

Copy Cat.

I saw this,

& i tried it.

My camera's a lot bigger, and im sure a lot heavier.

SICK SHIT.

LABgirlsBasketball.

Second Round Playoffs Tomorrow (:

goodnight.

I Used To Dream In Black & White.

Now I Dream Under The Big Lights,

...In Color

I'm good at saying what I don't want to say. I'm good at doing what I don't feel. I'm good at making it seem as its not. I'm good at fooling everyone, including myself. I'm good at killing time.
I'm good at hearing/ seeing what I want. I'm good w/ my feelings. I'm too good at understanding. I'm good at pretending. I'm good at seeming. I'm good at telling. I'm good at accepting. I'm good at not changing. I'm good at putting in motion. I'm good at imaging. I'm good at wanting. I'm good at tolerating. I'm good at not answering questions. I'm good at saying I can. I'm good at coming to conclusions...

Shit, I'm good.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE CREOLE IF.....

~you have relatives that are brown and white as snow

~at least someone in your family speaks creole

~you know most of the other creoles in your city

~most of your creole friends are related to you somewhere down the line and you don't know that until years later

~your mom is always on the lookout for a creole boy/girl for you

~all signs point to france

~you know the difference between light-skinned black and creole

~at least some of your family has moved to California

~when you say that you have "Indian" in you, you either have hard copy proof or the high cheek bones

~all the food that you cook is creole no matter if it's lasagna or chicken

~you can check a person's "creoleness" by looking at their last name

~before dating someone, you need to make sure that you are not related

~you have been mistaken for being fully white or spanish

~you know what a hucklebuck is

Rain.

It rained w/ no mercy.

Just to get her eyebrows done "/

"The quality of mercy is not strained;

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed-

It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes."