I won't be here.

Nothing lasts forever for I won't be here forever. In this grand city of deceit and valleys. The random ass city that everyone adores 'cause it's so turnt up. The ridiculous streets that our future grow up in. I need a new city. A city with lights that are always on. Not the street lights but the lights in the people's heads have great ideas and original stories. The lights here are dim 'cause shit's recycled. Global Warming has only taken a toll on this great valley. Ignorance burning as little niggas jerk passed the library. Illegal sightings because being bad feels pretty good. Huh ?

Whatever, take that and run in whatever direction you think I'm going. 'Cause that's also where I'm running to. I miss the me I used to be when I thought everyone was as hopeful as me. But uh, Hello, my lovelies. I promise I'm back.

"Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you."

~ John Mayer

I don’t feel like this all the time, obviously.

This was written, in that moment of panic. That moment when you really realize that something is so significant to you, that something is real and that terrifying moment when you can’t imagine life any way other than it is right now.

Saw her everyday this 3 day weekend, including Friday. Ha (:

http://ryahsays.blogspot.com/2009/04/speak-your-mind-fridays-created-and-ran.html <-- Go read that and then you'll understand this post.

Is it stupid that I still feel the same ? -_-

What I need is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

What everyone seems to forget is that I don't need a man, I just want one. I want my man, the one I thought I was getting two years ago. Everything changes with time and now I'm stuck wanting less that what I thought.

What the fuck does it take to show you motherfuckers, what does it fucking take, what do you want, how much do you want, because I am willing and I’ll stand before you and I’ll raise my arms and give you my chest and throat and wait, and I’ve been so old for so long, for you, for you, I want it fast and right through me— Oh do it, do it motherfuckers, do it do it you fuckers finally, finally, finally.

— Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

Beyonce wins.

Super Bowl has yet again ruined my weekend.

I turned 18 yesterday.

It's February. A month of 2010 is over. Only 11 months left, crazy. I make 18 on the 3rd, crazy.