I hate feelings but I feel the extreme. Its either love or hate with me. I'm either completely in love with you or I hate everything about you. Its annoying 'cause I hate dramatics yet my feelings are way too ridiculous to be on an understandable scale. I don't want to feel anything, I don't want to have a strong perception. I don't like being susceptible to unsensible susceptibilities. Mm yea, that made sense.

On the subject of hate, I hate 2009. Still in the midst of the stupidest year ever conjured up by Mother Nature & Father Time. At the end of last year I said I was proud to have come out human. It would be totally invalid to say the same now. Change is great but stability is way better. This whole year was full of unnecessary change. Its about that time for making resolutions & I can't think of any. All the ones that come to mind are shallow & hardly self- fulfilling.

At this point my two options for stability are a prefrontal lobotomy or growing up. Seeing that lobotomies don't always end pleasant, my maturity will shoot through the roof.





DISCLAIMER: This is about no one but myself -_-

Behold

Rise up
My beautiful sisters
Victory is yours

Wrap yourself
In the purple cloth
The color
Fit for a queen

Let all
That imitate
The color of your skin
The fullness of your lips
The contour of your hips
Bow down
Before you
And give you
What you are due

Praise
You are
The ultimate woman
That goddess
On high ground
That all others
Behold

My dad took this and edited it lol and I just found it on his laptop.

Grown- up Christmas List

1. Gas Money


2. Food Money

That's it.

My little GAP model (:

Moving on.

"If my outward appearance started reflecting what I really felt, soon enough I’d be wearing my heart on my sleeve for birds to peck at. No, it’s better to hide it. I’m not who I appear to be." -Othello (Modern-Text)

Shakespeare Essay; Going to be up all night -_-

This would be nice; 1975 Mustang Cobra.

Some Days In Words.

Starting with Wednesday:
Waited around my house for millions of hours while the cable man and my dad fixed my house. Drilled holes and stuff into the house 'cause it's so old. We now have cable and Internet. Then went to Sylmar to clean out the old house. Picked up Kia 'cause I haven't seen her in aaages, she helped. Well not really, sat there and talked ha. Decided to go to Target to shop before my trip and experienced the most ridiculous traffic EVER. Did the loddi daa through the store and left. Went to her house, watched an episode of Tough Love and left. Got home and Marci came. Went to some queer boy's kickback and saw many random people. Murder everyone in beer pong. It works when I throw and she drinks. Nicknamed Candace Parker lol, my shot is niiice. "Get 'em." Anyway, had to rush home all quick like 'cause my mom thought I was lying. She found a men's jacket and thought I had someone over the house. Got all the way home and come to find out it was my dad's from earlier that day -_-. Too pissed 'cause my night was virtually over at that point. Marci left me for her girlfriend and I was left to pack.


Thursday:
Up at 7:53; Thanksgiving texts. Got about 5890 messages that day all saying the same thing -_-. Finished packing while watching Like Mike. Went to Grandpa Fred's and I must say this was the lamest Thanksgiving ever. I was annoyed, hungry and bothered all day. Left as soon as possible to get home to leave for Seattle (where I am now). Went to Los Angeles to pick up the children from their father and caught up with those cousins a bit... Off to LAX. First and foremost, I hate airports. Getting through security is stupid, especially when Loyola High School's graduating class of 2006 works the frisking section -_-. I'm 5'4 and 123 lbs, I promise my phone with Shannon Brown on the background is not harboring any killer killer conspiracies. And I'm sure the jeans I'm wearing don't have lethal weapon in them. Mhm, harassed at LAX. Got on the plane and realized I left my iPod in my car. Ruined the whole night for me. Blah blah, fasten your seat belts, blaah. I'm in a different state.


Friday:
Black Friday, to be exact. Annoyed times 32. Only got two pairs of pants(.. but we're going shopping tomorrow at the super mall or something). All me and mother do is argue and my stomach can only take so much. Case in point: I wanted an ice cream cone but 'cause it costed $4.99 and it was 46 degrees out I was told no. I'm a big girl so I was ok w/ that. But my mother had to throw in a "now she has an attitude," I went off. So this then looked like I was having a temper tantrum about not getting ice cream, when actually I was pissed about being disrespected. In the end I wanted to go home and go to bed. Well this was after about 9 other arguments. Uh then went to the grocery store, a huge grocery store, more arguments. Went to bed real early, like 9 something.


Saturday:
That's today. Went to this whack church and we were super late so we were only there for like 17 minutes. Uh there are nooo black people out here, not happy. Minority on a different level -_-. Came home and cooked dinnaa. Mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and the turkey was all made by me. Mhm gutted and seasoned a turkey. Grossness. As of right now, I need a nap. Food will be ready in about an hour or so.


I get to use the D300 and be merry. That's the only thing that's keeping me sane. Now all I need is for it to snow. Disappointed, annoyed, and all of the above.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !
Going to Seattle tonight, until Monday. Have a great day & weekend (:

SHE'S obviously in charge.

(;